The Facts Of Life

"The ability to profit by past experience and to use this knowledge as a guide to future action may, ladies and gentlemen, be taken as the primary differentiation between the animal and the vegetable kingdoms."

Thus Professor Melchizedek Hobbs, principal of the Springville Free Academy, on the day long-gone when I began my higher education. I can see him yet, the apotheosis of the Victorian schoolmaster, Ichabod Crane, come to life: the sparse, sandy hair brushed carefully across his bony skull, his long nose trembling with the vehemence of his argument, his artist's fingers stained with the chemicals which he had lately been preparing in the school's laboratory, fumbling nervously with his mauve cravat and peering worriedly over the tops of his steel-bowed spectacles at our bright and shining faces.